Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki aka deh pimps
by SMUDGE.DEI-DEI-KUN ftw
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto are pimps,they generally go by "STUDMUFFIN..BELIEVE IT" and "HOT EMO GUY" and lets just say thier pimp skills are put to the test. Pairings include TentenXNejji TemariXShikamaru KibaXHinata SasukeXO.C YAOI PRIDE
1. Chapter 1

You all know what i'm gonna say..."I do not own NARUTO!"¬.¬.I can tell you if I did, it would be ruined and probably given a higher rating and adult time slot ; ) if ya catch my drift lmao.JOKES. Anyway, i DO own one of the characters however.AND if any potential readers want thier OC's to have a walk on part, just pm me l8rs .

...

**Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki A.K.A ****"PIMPS"**

"hey Sasuke.Watcha lookin at?" asked Naruto, puzzledly turning his attention in the direction of Sasuke's.Rolling his eyes, Sasuke spammed Naruto."It's what I'm not looking at that's significant loser.There is NO hot girls in here!"groaned the Uchiha impatiently.

"Even I could tell you that Sasuke, we are in the men's room waiting for bushy brows to hurry up and get off the toilet!"said Naruto, shielding his now numb head."Remind me again, WHY you dragged ME here anyway?" asked Sasuke clearly bored."Well, I couldn't invite any of the girls 'cuz they would tell Sakura, Shikamaru is all the way over in the sand villlage,1 guess who he's with, choji has to stay at home, because this TV shows got some competition to win a lifetime supply of potato chips, Kiba's taking Akumaru to the vets, Shino's busy and Nejji would just go on and on about his stupid fate stuff!"explained Naruto smiling."It was a rhetorical question you dumbass, and what's wrong with telling Sakura?"puzzled the Uchiha, fixing his chicken-butt hair in the mirror."I'll tell you what's wrong with Sakura-chan knowing!She is the sole purpose of my prescence here, as I must search for the perfect gift to win her heart!" said Rock Lee , emerging from the toilet."Well, uhh your not gonna find a gift in the toilet!"Laughed Naruto.

"PSSST!" whispered Naruto, punching Sasuke in the arm.Sasuke groaning, went to hit his BFF again, but then stopped when he realised the reason for Naruto's distraction."Hot girl 5 o'clock, major booby action!"laughed Naruto discreetly.Sasuke ran that through his head again, "booby action" those words made him laugh uncontrollably."I do not see what is so funny!This is a serious mission i have in my hands, may I remind you!" ordered Rock Lee, though it had no affect.Finally calming down, Sasuke replied to Naruto "I was thinking, when you punched me in the arm, you ruined that and now, i realise I spend too much time with you, as my humour has lowered to about your maturity" puzzled, Naruto tried to translate that, S-L-O-W-L-Y.Giving up he just turned and said "I have no idea what you just said, but it sounded like a compliment!"Unfortunately, Sasuke struggled for a sarcastic comeback worthy of that remark.

"Hey, Bushy brows, what about Ino's parents' florist, flowers are good right?" suggested Naruto, suddenly having an idea.YES! finally Naruto's incredibly empty brain really did replace the broken bulb.and spring cleaned the mounds of cobwebs on the light switch."Yes! I remember Sakura and Ino getting worked up about flowers in the preliminary when they fought!"exclaimed Rock lee, punching the air."Looks like we're going there then"said Sasuke, dreading Ino's reaction to his prescence.It kinda went something like this :

"OMG!SASUKE!OVER HERE!IT'S ME INO!!OH I BET YOU CAME HERE TO SEE ME RIGHT?I'M RIGHT!I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!IF YOUR BUYING ME A FLOWER, I LOVE THEM ALL!OH I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL EVERYONE THAT YOU AND ME ARE A COUPL-""we are not a couple, I am not buying a flower, i didn't come here to see you, Rock Lee is here, not for you either, now serve him while I go puke" said Sasuke coldly."He loves me really..He's just playing hard to get"Thought Ino out loud."No, I don't and No I'm not!" remarked Sasuke, leaving to wait outside the store.

"Thank god we got out of there!" said Naruto, joining his friend."I nearly threw up in my mouth" exclaimed Sasuke, mentally scarred by the experience."You should do that!Except let her try and kiss you whilst you do!"laughed Naruto exitedly."That is WAY funny, and all the same way more creepy that that time at the preliminaries!"retorted Sasuke, remembering."uuughh! I feel so sorry for the shadow clones I made whilst we hid.I hear one of the sound genin got AIDS and CHLAMIDIA from Hayate"said Naruto pulling a face.

"Yeah.You should never get condoms from Jiraiya"said Sasuke shaking his head.

"OWWWWWW!"yelled Rock Lee, landing on the floor."Oh no!My jumpsuit..Is RIPPED!" gasped Rock lee, embarassed.Sasuke and Naruto sniggered."Lemme guess.Ino found out you were buying for Sakura?"said Sasuke trying to control his laughter."She went something like ' all this for BILLBOARD BROW??' and kicked me out" said Rock lee, hiding behing a bench."Naruto lend Bushy brows your jacket, he can tie it round his waist to hide the rip"pleaded Sasuke, trying to save the embarrasment of being seen with a dude with duck pants.Groaning Naruto handed it to the guy in green and grumbled all the way to the next store.


	2. Chapter 2

AGAIN. I do not own Naruto.

...

"Lee, we've been through seven shops!Sakura really isn't THIS hard to buy for is she?"complained Naruto, still sour over Rock Lee spilling milkshake all over his favourite jacket."Yeah, and I haven't had the chance to get a single girl's number!"complained Sasuke, joining in with the miserable feeling.Rolling his eyes, Rock Lee pressed on, determined to win Sakura Haruno-chan's heart.

"I promise, I WILL find Sakura a gift!In the very next shop we set eyes on." Luckily, he was correct.

What happened was Naruto seen it first.There, was a perfectly polished window, with the most amazing kunai he had ever seen, so amazingly..shiny , he has to show chicken-butt.Tugging at Sasuke's top, making the curse mark visible, Sasuke swiftly covered it with his hand, making sure his friend did not see it.Turning his attention to the small store, he too noticed them.So...SHARPPPP. quickly, the two grabbed thier friend and dragged him in the store.

Things just got better for them.At the counter was just about THE hottest chick they had ever seen.(including all the girls in the chunin exams)and Rock Lee found a pretty crystal flower.Naruto wondered how the hell Rock Lee earned enough money to pay for something so expensive.While Rock Lee was outside, dancing for joy with his new gift, the two tried to hit on this "Babe".

**How To Get The CHICK Uchiha style.**

"Hey, did you know how amazing your eyes are?"

"Jeez, your hitting on me aren't you?"

"Well, I can't help it, I was entranced by your beauty"

"Please, where did you get those lines from, your brother?"

Sasuke blushes wildy"Errr, how did you know?"

"Itachi used them on me aswell"

To himself"Oh CRAP"

"No need to blush so much, relax...I'm having a party tonight, bring some friends...I'll maybe give you a second chance"

"Sure, I'll see If I can make it"

once outside the store, Sasuke turned to his friend "SCORE!HI-5 ME BRUVVA"Hi fiving him, Naruto queried "Got her number?"

"No"

"Make out?"

"No"

"Lemme guess, You used Itachi's stupid lines and got yourself a party invite again"

"Kinda, we can bring a friend"

"Not Bushy brows, when he's pissed he'd cramp our bad-ass pulling material"pleaded Naruto desperately

"Fine, really we need someone else as super hot as us.Is there anyone?"

"Yeah" said Naruto, handing a scrumpled peice of paper."I made a list incase of emergencies."

**Hot PeePle Lizt:**

**1)Naruto**

**2)Sasuke**

**3)Gaara**

**4)Kiba**

**5)Nejji**

"What the hell is Nejji doing on the list?"Asked Sasuke, refusing to be in the same list as the Hyuga.

"He was watching me write the list.And besides, he can use byakuugan to see what kinda underwear girls are wearing"

"Naaa, the only one with potential is Sandypants"said Sasuke, rattled about being second.How on earth could HE, Sasuke Uchiha be second on this "LIST" it was impossible.Not in any way correct."And you know, how the hell are you gonna get him to come all the way over here?" queried Sasuke.

"I have my ways"assured Naruto, before walking home, and leaving Sasuke with the Gai lookalike.


	3. Chapter 3

I don't own Naruto...If ownership is available please lemme know though ;)

...

In his bubble bath, Naruto phoned Gaara, who was speed number 3, just after Sasuke and speedy fast ramen deliveries.

"Hi Gaara my friend!"said Naruto, putting on his best 'I didn't prank call you again' voice

"Naruto, If u think that the pregnancy test prank is gonna work again, so help me you'll be recieving sand in your 'bubble bath'"

"I'm not prank calling you, honest Sandypants!I was more asking a favour"

"Why would I help YOU?"

"You know, being demon hosts...kinda means we gotta look out for each other"

"Fine.I'll regret this but what do you want?"

"Sas-I mean I..met this really hot babe...Sh'e throwing a party and i've been asked to bring friends"

"Didn't you ask Uchiha?"

"That's only one friend"

"No, i'm not going if he is, he'll cramp our style, he's like a number 3 on the hot list"

"Really? I got him as number 2"

"Well, obdviously I'm number 1 then, you shouldn't be so down on yourself..your way more than a 3!"

"He has to go or I won't look as hot...And you need to go...To look double hot?! "

"OK."

"Right, we need nicknames!If there's a girl involved i'm "STUDMUFFIN" and Chicken-butt is "Hot emo guy"

"WHAT?red pupils took that?!Well then...I'm gonna be called ...Mega hot double emo guy"

"Gaara"

"Yes?"

"That's lame.And Sasuke's nicknames are : chicken-butt, uchiha, emo, sas-GAY, and GAY"

"Fine.I'm gonna be..."Hottie"

"Ok, the party's tonight"

"What?! How the hell do you expect me to get to Konoha in time?!"

"errr, walk?"

"NO, too long!"

"FINE.use your little gourd thing and make a mega fast sand porsche"

"I can't drive"

"Well then give it a sat-nav and...an auto-pilot"

"Isn't auto pilot for planes?"

"Well maybe it is smartypants!"

"He hung up on me!"exclaimed Gaara, not too happy.

"Now, an outfit!"thought Naruto, rubbing his hands together.Picking up his headband from the bathroom floor,he carefully placed it in his underwear drawer, so as to remembe where it is.Being the idiot he is, he didn't realise he'd regret that for the next three months of stench.Opening his wardrobe...His tracksuits tempted him, but instead, he pulled out a baggy t-shirt with the exact same design, a pair of black straight jeans, vans, a dogtag, a black leather jacket and some shades.

"Outfit...what to wear??"thougt Gaara going through his wardrobe.After about three minutes of chucking everything on the floor, he ordered Kankuro to clean up his room, while he snook into his brother's wardrobe and stole some really cool vintage nirvana top. He then went back to his room and found his black little wrap thing, and some skinny jeans, and some red converse..to match his hair.He then straightened it and added a spiky belt.

"What am I, going to wear in order to grant perfect pulling power?"thought Sasuke, going through mounds of white shorts and blue T-shirts."How about my Uchiha top...with my white shorts!"and then he realised that was what he wore every single day."Ok...errrr, eyeliner...nail polish...custom black and blue converse that say Uchiha on them..I love the design your own converse!Errr, stripeysocks...OOO, my skinnies with the green kunai and shuriken design on the back of the leg...my blue uchiha jacket...and..uhh...a black vest top!" decided SasGAY, who then went through his straightening irons drawer to find his 'lucky' ones


	4. Chapter 4

OMFG!YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE IT!I...DON'T OWN NARUTO!

...

At this party, The three finally met up and had a group 'pep talk'."Right, We are THE hottest guys ever, and we are gonna nail as much as frigging possible.Anyone who doesn't...gets a kick in the balls, k?"

"Can I throw in a wedgie aswell?"asked Gaara, not wanting to miss out on beating the crap out of Sasuke.Rolling his eyes he replied

"Ok, and they get a wedgie too"

"Make it ATOMIC"exclaimed Naruto, exited.

"Fine, an 'ATOMIC WEDGIE' and a kick in the balls. now can we PLEASE go inside?" said Sasuke, smirking.

shrugging, the three made thier way inside the building.

"Sasuke...this really isn't my scene"said Gaara, having green and pink glowsticks thrust into his hands.

"I agree, but this girl...was something else..."said Sasuke, trying desperately for his eyes to adjust to the flashing of the lights.

"Say...where did Uzumaki go?"asked the redhead, searching for his friend.Of course, thier jaws dropped when they found Naruto.He had glowstick chains all over his neck, and was raving with a group of just over average ranking girls.

"How...the hell"said Gaara, confused

"I guess that's why he put himself as 1# on the hot list then"shrugged Sasuke, who then departed to look for the girl he had met in chapter 2.Pissed with being left, he decided to stand by the bar and wait for any female to come over in an act of dehydration.

"Uchiha, over here"waved a familiar person, sat around a group of friends in what looked like a V.I.P party.Joining them, Sasuke struggled for something to say.Standing up and walking to the balcony just 2 metres from where they were, she pointed down at Naruto

"Your friend sure likes a party, doesn't he? If he carries on, he'll end up joining us in the V.I.P"

"Uhhh, yeah"smiled Sasuke, not so sure what the big deal was about that.

"We're all gonna go rave in a minute...after playing a few...party games"smirked the blonde,taking his hand and pulling him into another room, where her friends followed.

"So..Uchiha...I'm kinda fed up with calling you that, what's your name exactly?"

"Uhhh...Sasuke..you?"

"Sasuke is it?Well, my name is Mina Arimoshi, but my friends know me as MinAri.Now, do you know how to play seven minutes in heaven?"

"Im familiar with it"smirked Sasuke, though he was longing for Naruto and Gaara to be here...for some security.

"Gooood"cooed MinAri, smiling gently.

"Zetsyyyy...Pass me that bottle please.."said MinAri turning her attention to one of her friends.Sasuke could've sworn the name rang a bell, but the room was dark...and after all it was slightly changed to make a nickname.

When the bottle was placed on the floor, everyone dragged a beanbag or random stool and sat down, eagerly.First up was a girl who had been weirdly quiet,Sasuke had no interest in her name...but she was about...a 6.43 on the looks scale,so he wasn't going to complain if it landed on him.Luckily though, it landed on a guy just 2 people to the left.Well, he gathered they were a guy anyway.They did sure as hell remind him of Ino in a blonde fringey way."Come on Dei...Into the closet with Aimee"Smirked the guy from earlier, who was already familiar with another bottle.

Gaara had been watching Naruto for some time now.He never seemed to stop dancing, and he sincerely doubted that his fellow demon host ACTUALLY knew all of them.Yet still, he attracted more and more of the female kind.Almost jealous, Gaara decided he too HAD to get someone, he had to prove he deserved to be 1# on the HOT list, he had already worked out that chicken-butt had gone for the apparently most good looking girl here.And Uzumaki had gone for some of the most popular.So..what was left?Looking around the room, he spied a few girls who seemed quite to themselves.Smirking he had a plan.

The easiest..the socially insecure..they just NEED comforting and everything will be fine.

"Hi, I'm Gaara...loud party isn't it?"

"Sure is, i hate this music...It's just...too loud..I get headaches"

"Same...wanna go outside for some fresh air?"

"That's the best idea I've heard all night!"


	5. Chapter 5

I unfortunatel do not own Naruto.But..I think for christmas...someone could buy me Deiadara :)As I already have Itachi in my basement

...

"So..uhh, I never got your name"said Gaara, slowly moving in on the unsuspecting girl before him

"Oh, how rude of me, my name's Riko, what brings you to these parts? Because I can tell your not from Konohagakure" smiled the girl meekly pushing back her coal black hair.

"Riko-san? I like that name.Meh, I'm here with friends, but they left me"sighed Gaara, sliding closer to her

"Aaaw, really? My friends told me it'd be fun...but here I am..Not having fun"

"I know somewhere fun"said Gaara, smiling slyly.

"really?"said Rino, looking into Gaara's green eyes, so happily rimmed with eyeliner.

the bottle spinned one last time. Sasuke prayed he would finally get his chance.Staring at the bottle as it spun round, he racked his brain for any jutsu or something similar that attracted bottles to stop facing facing him.Realising he must look keen, he clickly pouted his lips and emoed his pose a little.he was too busy being emo to realise the bottle was slowing.

"Uchiha..err Sasuke..even...C'mon it landed on you, it's our turn" smiled Minari, standing up

'KERCHING' thought Sasuke, so desperately wanting to smile.

shrugging he stood up and walked into the little closet like thing.

"Naruto!Over here!Can you teach me that dance move now?It was SOOOO awesome!I mean really, where did you learn to dance like that?"shouted one of Naruto's newly aquainted 'fans' as he thought of them.Smirking, he walked over to the DJ and asked for Basshunter and quickly taught his "MEGA MOVE" to the green haired girl as the DJ selected the song.

Just as Minari was about to liplock with Sasuke, she froze.

'ALL I EVER WANTED' blasted though her eardrums.Smiling she pulled him out of the closet away from the V.I.P area, and into the masses of Ravers and began doing so herself.

"please tell me you can rave to my fave song?"

"Of course I can rave"said Sasuke indignantly

"Go on then!"shouted Minari , making sure her voice was heard

Sasuke frantically attempted raving, but then settled for a follow the crowd approach when she raised one of her eyebrows

"Gaara-san!You are sooo funny, and this...uhh what is this?"

"Vodka, it's 100 vodka, no added yuckies"'god that was lame'thought Gaara, inner face-palming himself

"Oh..cool.Well this...100 vodka stuff, is so...nice?!"

"I know...hey your'e starting to lose your balance!Maybe you should rest here for the night,you can crash in MY bed"

The DJ smiled looking at the masses of ravers going insane for basshunter.For sometime now, he had realised that the life and soul of this party was Naruto, and he decided to make a point of this.

"OK PARTY PEEPLEZ.I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET A FEW FRIENDS OF MINE.THEY ARE SO RAVE TONIGHT..THAT THEY GET A RAVE STAGE!SO COULD THE BLONDE HAIRED WHISKER KID WHO REQUESTED BASSHUNTER AND ALL HIS HOT FRIENDS STEPUP TO THE STAGE?"called out the DJ on his microphone.Naruto quickly meeting the instructions

"I'm so gonna kill Naruto, I missed my pulling chance!"


	6. Chapter 6

hmmmmm.I OWN THEM ALL.EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER.I TIED THEM UP AND HID THEM IN MY SECRET BASEMENT SOCIETY.insert evil laugh here jokes ;) i don't own any of them

...

"huh? oh, no...no it's ok, i don't live too far from here, i can just go home"smiled Riko, clueless as to her new 'friend's ' plans.

"NO.errr..no way, your stumbling all over the place."

"No, I feel mean...It's not even your place anyway"

"Naruto won't mind, he loves having people round"

"isn't that the kid that was dancing all the time with thos girls?"

"err..yeah?!"

"no, he might have people round aswell, he woudn't want me here"

"trust me, he won't mind"feeling kinda mean now, Gaara sighed."I'll sleep on the couch, you take the bed, in the morning I'll walk you back to your home"

...

Naruto was FINALLY starting to get tired.The one thing he wanted now was to get home and crash in his bed.Just as he was about to leave, he remembered the little speach that Sasuke,Gaara and himself had made.Not really wanting a wedgie..he looked at the array of girls and thoigt long long and hard (by his standards anyway). The blonde one with a random cat in the hat stripey hat one was an amazing raver.The one with green hair and a neck covered in glowsticks was one hell of a kisser, the brunette with the tu-tu was MEGA hot...BUT.The one with black hair clearly had all three traits meshed together.smiling he walked up to her and said:

"Hey...You wanna head back to my place now?"

"You crazy?!It's only 5:30 am!"

"Yeah..but..it's starting to get dull...and.."suddenly having an idea

"YOU'VE ALREADY DANCED TO THIS SONG..TWICE OVER!"

"your kidding! what a waist!OK, let's leave"

...

Sasuke watched as the loser left with a girl.Him and Gaara had already scored.And yet here he was, without even a kiss.Maybe he DID deserve to be no.2 on that list...NO!HE WAS SASUKE OF THE UCHIHA CLAN.HE WASN'T GOING TO HAVE AN 'ATOMIC WEDGIE' Minari WAS going to leave with him.BEFORE 6:am.!!

lookingf at her dark blue eyes, he almost forgot what he was going to say.But glancing at the clock he realised he had 20 minutes to bag her and get home.Staring hard he marched up to her and said:

"This party's calming down a bit now.I'm bored"

"me too"sighed his target, frowning

"HEY! I have an idea, do you want to come check out the Uchiha district?"

"Uhhh, no thanks I've seen it, like a thousand times"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow confused

"Yeah, like I told you, your brother tried to hit on me"

"Oh yeah, I know, but uhh, have you seen it AFTER the massacre?"

"Yep"

"Well then, I'm stumped, you know anything decent to do?"

"No.But in 2 days there's a beach party...you and a few friends around 4 of you altogether...can come too.see you there?"

"Of course"

...

Sasuke smiled as he walked off out of the party.He now had 2 days to recruit another member, and see her again.He had kinda pulled..if she invited him and his friends to a second party, right?

THE NEXT MORNING:

"Gaara you frigid numpty!You had every chance in the world in my spare bedroom!"laughed Naruto, joining his friend for some breakfast.

"Not really, you could tell she was still a virgin"

"Even better, then if you were bad you could blame it on her inexperience"

"Are you suggesting I'm shit in bed?"

"I might be"

"I am soooo not!and that's not the point!I don't care about ' how good someone is' "

"yeah..but if you do it with a virgin..then technically your a half-virgin"

"really?"

"yup"said Naruto indignantly

"wow"

"so, uhh you fancy some ramen?"

"for BREAKFAST? you've got to be kidding me!"

"see my face?it's serious"

"you have a one track mind you know"

"Nope.THREE TRACK ACTUALLY"

"oh please, I have to hear this"

"Ramen, becoming Hokage, and being better than chicken-butt"

"Well, you've definatally got the last one under your thumb"

"I know"


	7. Chapter 7

Unfortunately I do not own Naruto :( But uhh, you know..it was my birthday a few days ago...If by any chance you would like to...you know get me a small present...Ownership would do just fine :D

...

**At a ramen stall (NATURALLY)**

The fearsome threesome were there with ramen (Naruto had more special coupons) and just about the foggiest heads from the worst hangovers yet.

"So Gaara, you blew it huh?"

"What?I so didn't I got her in my bed!"replied Gaara indignantly

"BUT YOU SLEPT ON THE SOFA"chirped Naruto, only to recieve a death stare which meant "I'm gonna stab you if you don;t shut up"

Sasuke choked on his ramen, as he found this VERRY funny, he woudn't sleep on the sofa if a perfectly hot girl was in his bed, he knew EXACTLY what he would do.

"Oh, and I suppose YOU pulled, huh Sasuke?"said Gaara, raising an eyebrow

Sasuke froze, now how was he going to get out of this mess, catcing Naruto's eyes he had an idea, Naruto always had something to be embarassed of-what with that dreadful ensemble and all-and he managed to get away with it, flawlessly.So he made like his foxyish friend and closed his eyes, pulled a cheesy grin, and scratched the back of his head.

Naruto and Gaara simultaneaously shook thier heads.That was one move only Naruto could pull off.

"I knew it!Come on Naruto, Let's kick him in the balls!"

"WAIT!"cried Sasuke pulling out a kunai-just like incase- and getting a few odd looks

"Why should we wait?You didn't pull!"

"I DID SO PULL..KINDA ATLEAST WHAT DOES IT MATTER ANYWAY, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU DID!"shouted Sasuke, who then got ordered to leave the Ichi ramen house.Naruto then quickly slurped down his meal, as to leave Gaara with the bill.

"So, what does 'KINDA' mean, anyway Sasuke?"asked Gaara, hacked at forking out for the bill, when HE was the visitor.

"It means she was too busy partying,and I got us an invite to another party."smirked Sasuke.

"Would that be the V.I.P exclusive beach party?I can't get on the list, Invites are like golddust!"exclaimed a figure from behind them.

Turning around the three realised it to be Kiba.Smiling, Naruto petted Akamaru, before standing back with his 'possy'

"Yeah, I guess, you want to join us?"said Sasuke calmly.

"You mean you were aloud to bring others aswell?! You must be really tight with one of the main partygoers around here!"

"Well uhh, I think after last night, Naruto's been discovered as the life and soul of the parties"said Gaara, feeling left out.

"YEAH!YEAH I AM!"exclaimed Naruto, pulling a pose.

"Enough camera time, loser, so uhh, you gonna join or not?"said Sasuke redirecting the question

"Are you nuts!I am so there!I'll see you all tomorrow!"said Kiba before walking off.

...

"Well, uhh..I gotta go..and uhh renew my membership at the gym...for no apparent reason"said Sasuke, already like half a mile away from them

"I wonder why he wants to do that?"quizzed Naruto not quite grasping it.

head smacking himself Gaara explained.

"He obdviously wants to go topless"

"Oh, well then...I'm off to find the pervy sage, got a bit of ninja training to do, you can never be too strong you know Gaara!"

"Oh i know"replied Gaara, only to the dust left behind from Naruto's path of destuction to find Jiraiya.


	8. Chapter 8

disclaimer (that's me) : YO!I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!!

...

Gaara sighed, a beach party.There'd probably be like loads of people just sat there with a small boombox and a volleyball net.He had to admit there were some downfalls to this whole 'friend' thing,like being prank called every 2 days by a certain nine-tailed fox host..not that he was going to mention any names -cough-Naruto Uzumaki-cough-.Secondly, he always felt like it was a give and take relationship, he would give (unwillingly he might add) and the others would take, also, the whole thing about 'best friends'.He still remembered that conversation with Naruto.

(remembering)

"Hey Gaara, can I ask you a serious question?"

"You?Say something serious?"

"Yes.So can I?"

"go on"

"Who's your best friend?"

"Urrr...I've never really thought about that.Ummm, possibly my brother Kankuro."

"NONONO!He can't be your best friend!"

"uhh...why?"

"Because!Everyone knows that a best friend has to have blonde hair!"

"Oh...really?well then...possibly Temari"

"NONONO! Don't you know they have to be guys? and they also have to be demon hosts!"

"HUH? oh well then...I guess that narrows it down to...well you?!"

(remembering over)

Gaara felt like an idiot when he puzzled this with his elder siblings after.for one whole month he went on thinking that was the criteria of a best friend.But, at times he did kind of like having people that are there for you, and vice versa.He had never expected the kind of feeling you get when your around others, who like you and would fight any battle beside you.He did feel guilty about it being quite different before, when the battles were them against him.And he would take a guess that they probably felt the same way.Getting up from the seat, he smiled.Today he wouldn't need to weigh down his back with that -as heavy as it looks- gourd.There would be sand all over.And, it was a party.The chances of a shinobi battle were second to none, especially as it was 'super exclusive'.Gaara had never been to anything exclusive.It was so exciting, he might just have to stand around just by the gates to show onlookers how amazingly popular he is.Smirking, he walked towards the destination of meeting.

...

Naruto groaned.He had worked SO hard.But the toad (pervy) sage had payed no attention.Stupid Ino, Hinata and Sakura, they had to pick yesterday of all days to go to the small little lake.Jiriaya was as usual hiding behind his little bush.But It taken till about 2 in the afternoon when Naruto came up with a plan.He used it sexy justu and begged for training, then he continued training in his girl form, as to make sure he got the attention.He sure hoped Sasuke hadn't worked as hard.He couldn't lose the best six pack battle to him!NO DAMN WAY!

Naruto had decided on his shorts, some random flip-flops he never knew he had, and his jacket (undone)he slightly messed up his hair and rested some sunglasses on his yellow fidently he strided over to meet Gaara.Punching each other's fists for some 'respect' they waited for the other two.

...

Kiba was up really early.It taken three hours to seperate himself from Akamaru alone.He just didn't like being apart from his little doggy friend.They had shared so many battles and missions, and so many vet visits and walks, and Akamaru liked vegetables!How much better could it get?It was like giving up a leg for the day, he didn't take the idea of no dog-companions to come with.I mean were the people Akamaru-ist?Did they have some grudge against him?He just didn't understand.The poor dog looked so upset being left behind.Kiba filled his bowl unto it was spilling all over the floor, he was nervous.Could ANYONE properly care for his best little buddy?Would they meet his standards?So may worries went through Kiba's mind.Now he knew why his mother didn't like going out at the night and leaving him with a babysitter.

As soon as he got out though, and had a breather for a moment, things started looking up.Of all things, he hoped Hinata would see himgoing into this exclusive party, and suddenly realise how cool he was.You know getting into this super V.I.P party and all.

...

Sasuke was worn out.Tired, yes.Who knew treadmills worn you out so much?It was like woah!And he was like 'wow' and then he was like 'oh shit' because he seen a hot girl and missed a step and fell flying.It was soooo embarassing.He was sooo glad Naruto wasn't there, or he would never be left alone about it.On second thought Naruto should have been there, to help him laugh it off.and besides, Naruto and him would have one of those competitions they have like every day.Then they both would have gotten 200 packs!

He had on board shorts, converse, a shark tooth necklace, a blue shirt left undone with (you guessed it) an uchiha symol on the back, and styled hair (as always).He was aware he was the last to arrive of his friends.Smirking he thought 'YAY!I ARRIVE..FASHIONALBLY LATE.they're gonna think I'm so cool'

"Sasuke-TARD!YOU IDIOT!WE SEEN THAT GIRL GO IN TEN MINUTES AGO!!CAN'T YOU GET ANYWHERE ON TIME?"Naruto rambled on, fed up of waiting

"Worse then that poor sandypants here has been waiting an hour!"continued the idiot, much to everyone's eardrum pain

"Actually,it was half an hour, and the name's Gaara, G-A-A-R-A! not sandy pants"sulked the sand village ninja.

"What are we waiting for??Let's go in already!!"said Kiba, eagerly pushing the three.

...

"What's the password?"

the three covered Naruto's mouth quickly.And Sasuke rolled his eyes and said:

"Basshunter"

then the four were allowed in.


	9. Chapter 9

i don't own Naruto :( -sad isn't it.Hands up if u wish you owned it.Anyway on with the story which is long overdue chapter 9.Just so you know i put special thought into this one -And No 'Kokone it's not that special day i told u about, not quite yet...(IS PLOTTING)

...

The day after the 'beach party'.The four are gathered around around a table outside a coffee shop,Naruto has a poker cap on , Gaara has his gourd at the ready to swap any rather pathetic cards with (sand) aces,Sasuke has a smug grin on his face, and Kiba is happy to have Akamaru back.There are poker chips all over the table, and cards being dealt by Kiba.There are lager cans...which are actually filled with 29p orange juice...which Gaara had the clever idea of hiding the cartons in a certain someone's hood-Kiba doesn't know that yet...shhhhh.They are playing 'GO FISH'

...

"That party was amazing"said Naruto, picking up another card.

"I know, but i don't know what i'm more amazed about, the fact it started at 9:45 am and ended at 3:am today, or that the alcohol wasn't brought out till noon"said Gaara monotoniously.

"It was sweet...really...it was sick"said Kiba trying to live up to his new ranking as 'pimp'

"Im still amazed that you Gaara did no work-outs before hand, yet still had like a 200 pack"said Sasuke enviously

"What can I say, I guess looking good just comes natural to me"

cue Kiba and Naruto snorting on thier orange juic-I mean lager.

...

10 minutes further into the game:

"You are such a cheat Gaara!"yelled Sasuke, uncovering Gaara's hidden gourd trick.

"SO are you Sas-GAY!I mean why were you using sharingan anyway?"

"To see if YOU were cheating and I was right"continued the two, Kiba in hysterics over thier 14th argument since the beginning of the game.

"shut up you fags!kunoichi's 10 o'clock!"muttered Naruto, getting thier attention.

Quickly the four pulled poses to look as 'bad-ass' as possible.

Naruto had one leg on an empty chair and a smirk on his face.Kiba had his hands on his hips and his head slightly lifted.Akamaru climbed on the table and lifted his head also, Gaara stared blankly..like he does most of the time anyway...and Sasuke flexxed his muscles so his armes were in a formation like a staircase.

The girls just sniggered and walked off.

"Hey, my cousin had that top that Tenten was wearing" said Kiba, finally getting out of character.

"really?who cares ?"asked Gaara, bored by this conversation already

"you have a cousin?"asked Naruto, shocked.

"yeah, and she wore that top all the time back when she was pregnant"

"OMFG!NO WAY...DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?"smiled Sasuke, trying not to fall off his chair and laugh till his stomach hurt.

"Hey, maybe she just put on a few pounds and wants to hide it, we'll never know"shrugged Gaara, seeing no point to laugh unless there was proof..though it was funny.

"No we won't know..but I know someone who will!"said Kiba, ready to recruit the 5th member.

"NO WAY!he'll cramp our style!"said Sasuke, quickly discovering where this was going.

"Kiba, leave this one to me!"said Naruto proudly

"Sasgay you idiot, I know how much you want to fall off the chair and laugh till your stomach hurts..and think how much of a relief it'll be when you know.besides...he still made it to number 5 on the list!"said Naruto waving the peice of paper in front of his friend's face.

"stupid little list..with stupid little numbers..and a stupid little number 6 which has a name written down that wasn't ripped off properly, I'm gonna burn that thing one day"muttered Sasuke, in emo mode.

...

He was sat at home on the computer, with Dr Pepper and popcorn, he was super hyped up. when he wasn't obsessing about his destiny or training with Tenten, he liked to have some me time with popcorn, fizzy drinks, a tub of ben and jerry's and a little thing called fanfiction.He loved reading crack about NaruSasu and Itasaku etc etc. Though it was creepy when he was involved, and he found it hard to look others in the face after reading a particuarly funny fic.

So, he was reading a story right now, by his favourite author 'alchemy-hearts' about Sasuke and Naruto being pimps...

he taken his drink and then...his phone rang.Jumping out of his skin, his drink went flying, his chair fell over, taking him and the popcorn with him, and the drink landed pouring on his face.

Groaning he answered the phone, to find Naruto at other end of the call

"No Naruto, I will not fall for that damn pregnancy test prank, that you use every single time"groaned Nejji.

"shut up!and anyway i have a ...what was the word again Sasuke?...Proposition for you belie-"

"if i hear believe it one more time i swear..i will painfully hurt you!"

"-Naruto, hand the phone to me-NOOOO!I CAN DO THIS-"

Nejji listens intently as he hears Gaara beating up Naruto for the phone

"Nejji, this is Gaara.We are giving you a once in a lifetime chance to join us.The cool people.If you do not meet us in exactly half an hour i will kill you-And I'll egg his house-(sigh) AND...Naruto will egg your home"

--Phone call ends--

"but where the hell are they?" asked Nejji to noone in particualar.


	10. Chapter 10

NOT MUCH LONGER KOKONE!!I PROMISE!!(though not sure how many chappys to be exact) anyway, due to legal reasons i must add that i do not own Naruto, it is due to legal reasons, right? anyway, I've been looking forward to this chapter...it's a 'benchmark' in the story or something...atleast that's what my english teacher calls them, so...ENJOY

...

"Nejji..you are 6 minutes late"said Gaara coldly, unscrewing his gourd.

"Gaara, step back..."ordered Sasuke, blocking him.Grumbling, Gaara re-screwed the top on his gourd and shut his mouth (not that he talks much anyway)

Ushering Nejji to a location about a metre away - a pretty pointless walk-Naruto pointed into the distance "Do you see 'em?"

Nejji concentrated ha rd, unfortunately he could see quite a variety of people, guessing who these four 'pimps'-as they called themselves- would be interested in, he shrugged and said:

"Who?Jiraiya perving on a load of scantily clad young females?"

"NOOOOO!"yelled Naruto, as he does, spamming Nejji on the fore-head

"Ok...Kakashi in goofy fangirl mode perving on his favourite author Jiraiya"

"NOOOOO!"said Sasuke "...wait...Kakashi in fangirl mode...where?!"said Sasuke, taking an interest

Gaara taken a photo and gave it to Naruto as a 'good blackmail item'

"LOOOK..over to the right"said Kiba, pointing at a group of leaf village kunoichi

"oh...Sakura, Ino, and Tenten...what of them?"said Nejji, sudenly toning down his voice a bit.

"That is where our proposition comes in, you have the option to join the most awesome group of people, but in return, yu must use your byakuugan and decipher wether or not Tenten is pregnant"said Gaara, as he memorized the words best when they were practising thier 'mafia' speech.

"Oh..."said Nejji, blushing...pulling at his collar, he felt all hot and sweaty.nervously, he used his byakuugan and faced one of his fellow team members.

"uhhh...no. She is definately 100 pregnant.I MEAN NOT PREGNANT, i mean she's probably still a virgin, not that i'd know or anything..."said Nejji, scratching the back of his head, embarassed

"your not a very good liar"said Gaara, working it out instantly

"OHHHH!SNAP!NEJJI YOU AND TENTEN?!"said Sasuke, doing that thing where people shake thier hands and thier fingers click.

"HEY!TENTEN! WHEN'S THE BABY DUE?"yelled Naruto, at the top of his lungs - and that is LOUD.

the whole selection of people turned to face the kunoichi, who was glaring evilly at Nejji.

"I guess your one of us now Nejjster"said Kiba, before having a lecture from Naruto about nicknames

"yeah"I guess i am"said Nejji, who was actually shitting himself worrying about what terrible punishment he had instore when he next saw Tenten.And if it wasn't death, or so close to death that he has to endure severe pain and stay in hospital having major operations for 3 years...then it was worse...FAR WORSE...she might...KEEP THE BABY.

...

Sasuke sat at home, feeling pissed.He knew he had to like, avenge his clan and stuff, but seriously why on earth did Kakashi-sensai give him coursework?!I mean he's a ninja, not a year 10 normal school student...he wasn't even old enough to have cousework.And also, because he spent wayyyy too much time with Naruto, he'd now done nothing towards finish it,and it was due tomorrow.

staring at the monitor of his pc, all he had written was 'GROWTH OF NINJA SKILLS THROUGH RIVALRY  By Sasuke Uchiha

and, come on, what sort of essay topic was that?! Only idiots had rivals, it wasn't for cool people like him and Naruto.NO, they were better then that.More mature.They were both strong ninjas,he was going to avenge the uchiha clan, and Naruto was going to become hokage.by the time they were 18.that was thier plan, although Sasuke intended to kill Itachi when he was like, 15.He'd kill him right now, but he wasn't quite stron enough yet, just a little but more maybe.

He realised to get enough words on this essay, he'd have to use 10 facts he'd heard Sakura say, 5 of his own memories and 85 mindless drabble.

Still, he had no inspiration, all he wanted to do was barge in round Naruto's place. Dig out the decent ramen flavours, sit on MSN and watch tokyo mew mew and probably a few random movies Naruto had found.Of course, he would go on myspace and see how many fangirls wanted to add him, god they scared him.maybe even more than Ino does.NAHH.and they would rave to music on project playlist, and prank call about a bazillion people.Then he would go home and think 'what a waste of time'

he coudn't do it.He caved in, he was going to ask Sakura to help him...better yet, considering Sakura's crush on him, she might do it for him...

he signed in to Instant messenger to check if she was online.


	11. Chapter 11

I HAVE GOOD NEWS! WITH THE AKATSUKI WHO LIVE IN MY BASEMENT-WHO'S RENT IS OVERDUE TOO I MIGHT ADD- A POWERFUL SELECTION OF MUSIC, MY SIDE-KICK'S KOKONE AND SATOMI I SHALL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!...just to...err get Naruto back on Jetix with more episodes and bring Shippuden into England and other countries that don't have it yet... :) yep that's the only reason to take over the world...and sigh I DON'T OWN NARUTO. Satomi does.

...

**HOT EMO GUY-i seek power deal with it has signed in.**

**STUDMUFFIN says:**

**HEY! SASUKE HAVE YOU GOT LIKE 300 PEOPLE ADD YOU?**

Sasuke sighed.Now Naruto had more fangirls than him.Maybe he really was a number 2...

**HOT EMO GUY says:**

**Close enough, 147.DAMN FANGIRLS.**

**STUDMUFFIN says:**

**THEY'RE NOT FANGIRLS!THEY'RE PEOPLE FROM THE BEACH PARTY!**

Sasuke added them all immediately.

**HOTTIE has joined conversation.**

**HOTTIE says:**

**UCHIHA SMELLS LIKE POO**

**STUDMUFFIN says:**

**HAHAHAHAHA !SASUKE SMELLS LIKE POO!!rolls on floor laughing**

**HOT EMO GUY-i seek power deal with it says:**

**OH HAHA.THAT'S SO MATURE.**

**AND HOW THE HELL ARE YOU BOTH SIGNED IN WHEN YOUR IN THE SAME HOUSE?**

**STUDMUFFIN-Uzumaki for the win says:**

**you have the old and new version up at the same mon sense.**

**KIBA-if i said you had a nice body would you hold it against me? has signed in**

**KIBA-if i said you had a nice body would you hold it against me says:**

**Your one to talk Naruto.**

**Nejji-I SAID I'M SORRY!OK TENTEN!!says:**

**GEEZ.TENTEN WON'T STOP NAGGING ME.**

**HOTTIE says:**

**...**

**KIBA-if i said you had a nice body would you hold it against me says:**

**¬.¬**

**HOT EMO GUY says:**

**I have better thing to do than this conversation.**

**...**

**SHIKAMARU'S FANGIRL says:**

**HI CHICKEN-BUTT.**

**HOT EMO GUY says:**

**WHY DOES EVERYONE SAY THAT!**

**SHIKAMARU'S FANGIRL says:**

**Because your hair resembles that of a chicken butt.**

**HOT EMO GUY says:**

**F . U**

**Shikamaru says:**

**DON'T TALK TO MY GIRLFRIEND LIKE THAT!**

**SHIKAMARU'S FANGIRL says:**

**It's ok Shika-kun.I can beat the crap out of that idiot any day.**

**HOT EMO GUY SAYS:**

**OH please.**

**Shikamaru says:**

**Sasuke im warning you.**

**HOT EMO GUY says:**

**Oh go and have gay sex with each other.**

sasuke blocked them.

**...**

**HOT EMO GUY SAYS:**

**who is this?**

**MINA-SAN (DEI-DEI-KUN...U MAKE ME LOL TOO MUCH!)says:**

**MinAri.Who's this?**

**HOT EMO GUY says:**

**Sasuke Uchiha...**

"SCORE!YAY!!I HAVE HER MSN!!"

**MINA-SAN (DEI-DEI-KUN..U MAKE ME LOL TOO MUCH!) says:**

**OH!Itachi's brother! HEY! U OK?**

**SASUKE says:**

**u know how it is.**

**MINA-SAN (DEI-DEI-KUN...U MAKE ME LOL TOO MUCH!) says:**

**NO.**

**OH YEAH! THERE'S A REALLY COOL PARTY I WANNA TAKE YOU TO TOMORROW.**

"oh shit.Kakashi's coursework...or Minari...THAT'S EASY!"


	12. Chapter 12

IDONOTOWNNARUTOIDONOTOWNNARUTOIDONOTOWNNARUTOIDONOTOWNNARUTOIDONOTOWNNARUTOIDONOTOWNNARUTOIDONOTOWNNARUTOIDONOTOWNNARUTOIDONOTOWNNARUTOIDONOTOWNNARUTO**PENIS**IDONOTOWNNARUTOIDONOTOWNNARUTOIDONOTOWNNARUTOIDONOTOWNNARUTOIDONOTOWNNARUTO.

...

Sasuke flicked his hair a bit.Then flattened it down again.Then flicked it up.Then flattened it.Then he rang Naruto (speed dial 1) and asked him whether his hair looked better flicked or flattened.Rolling his eyes, he grabbed his gel and flicked it.He put on his shorts, and looked in the mirror at his cough Hot cough body (yeah right).I mean...he had a 3 pack.c'mon!Naruto was buffer than that.Pulling the superman move in front of his mirror (which suprisingly hadn't smashed yet) he juped out of his skin whn Naruto burst through the door.

"SASUK--HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Naruto rolled round on the floor laughing at the guy.Pulling a face, Sasuke shoved his top on and asked Naruto what the hell he was doing round HIS home.

"I JUST WANTED TO KNOW WHY YOU ARE SUDDENLY TAKING AN INTEREST IN YOUR HAIR WHEN WE HAVE TRAINING TODAY!"

Sasuke sighed.Nruto had put two and two together faster than he had hoped.But maybe He MIGHT understand that a hot girl was moe important than walking dogs.

"ok, ok.I'm meeting that girl again."

"WHAT?! YOU BUNKER!"""

"shhhh!Naruto, it's ALLRIGHT to miss ONE lesson!"

"FINE. BUT YOU OWE ME A BOWL OF RAMEN."

"deal"

**...**

"SASUKE!That is your name right?!"asked Minari, meeting him at the bus stop.

"yes.That's my name.And where's this party anyway?!"

"In the neighbouring village.It's the hottest, funnest, most out-there party ever!"

"right.So uhh, what party is it anyway?"

The bus pulled up, Minari, Sasuke and three others got on the bus (yes there are buses now)

"OH, you'll love it, i go every year.It's uhh"

The bus started moving

"Yaoi pride"

"WHAT?!SO YOUR YURI!!AND YOU THNK I'M YAOI!!NO WAY!!I'M GETTING OFF!"

"no.I am sooooo into guys.And I go here every year, because a friend taken me, and it's FUN! THAT IS WHY YOU ARE HERE, BECAUSE IT IS FUN"

"yeah...well...all these fags are staring at me"

"how do u know they're yaoi or yuri?"

"Because i can smell that they are."

"NO, Sasuke, these people are all straight.EXCEPT for the bus driver.Because this bus goes to the shopping centre, then we walk 5 minutes"

"oh."

**...**

They got off the bus and were greeted by five people. A VERY VERY yaoi guy, who was covered in glowsticks and had a feather boa, a guy or girl...he wasn't quite sure...who had a popsicle, a girl who had the weirdest face paint design ever, some uy who had a weird hat on...the same as the girl/guy.and another girl.

"DEI-DEI KUN!SASORI!TAI!! KOKONE!AIRI!" greeted MinAri, hugging them.

"Hey. I see you brought the Uchiha with you"glared the girl by the name Kokone...wjo's hair also slightly resembled that of a chicken-butt.In other words, her and sasuke's hair were nearly the same.

"hmmmph."Said Airi, staring evilly at Sasuke.

"BE NICE! now, where's Satori and Tobi?"

"they're already there.didn't want to miss anything."

"Spoil sports"said the girl/guy, other wise known as 'Dei-Dei kun"

They walked to the party and coul smell the candyfloss and hear the loud music.Sasuke had to hand it to her, It DID look like fun.He might aswell...mingle.

...

"SO, are you two...A couple?"asked Sasuke, talking to 2 gays, who he thought were fairly sane

"YES, have been for a year"said one, absalutely bessotted with the other

"whatever"said the second...( a 'DON'T FUCK WITH ME seme')

"so...have you allways been...you know...yaoi?"

"Hell No.Only realised when we got together"

"We used to be best friends.Had each other on speed dial, went everywhere together.We looked out for each other you know"said the Uke, happily

"you got someone like that?"asked the Seme guy

"Actually...yes"thought Sasuke.

...

Sasuke thought of Naruto.He used to HATE Naruto, if you hated someone, there WAS noooooo way on earth that you had feelings for them, right?

He seen another two people, who he presumed were NOT a couple.Maybe he could have a conversation about guy stuff like...ummm...Ramen...wait, no, that was Naruto stuff.Shuriken!That was guy talk, right?"

"hi"said chicken-butt, as politely as he could manage.

"hi, said the two in unison.

"so uhh...cool party, right?"asked Sasuke, pretty freaked out by thier coordination.

"YEah...sure is"said one of them, looking lovingly into the eyes of another.

"Ohhh...your a couple too aren't you?"

"YEAH!hav been for a while!"said the other, happily.

"Want to know a secret??"said the two of them...again.

"Try me"said Sasuke, intrigued.

"We used to HATE each other! Can you believe it!We would compete EVERY DAY! argue, insult each other, the lot!"

Sasuke felt very, very sick.

...

Could it be...Naruto Uzumaki...turned Sasuke...yaoi?!


	13. Chapter 13

As you all know by now.I do not own Naruto.And I am running out of things to add.

I have noticed how my first few chaps are fairly more funny.So, I am trying to continue the funnyness.OK!! : )

This is a filler.For storyline purposes only

...

It hit him.Sasuke wasn't yaoi. He was bisexual.I mean the only reason he was at that stupid pride thing was because of a hot babe.And, he was going to prove he wasn't yaoi.He was going to meet her.

Getting ready, Sasuke put on a really cool T-shirt that said 'beware of the glomp', board shorts, and some vans.He was going 'casual' today.He spent the usual 3 hours on his hair, nothing special.

...

"Hi Sasuke.How are you?" Said Mina, greeting him.

"I'm good" said Sasuke, smiling.Though, he felt a little rubbish.As He wasn't as attracted to her as he was the other day.Maybe it was because her clothes weren't as revealing, or as tight...

"Errr, Sasuke.You know how you and your friends have been coming along to a few of our parties?"

"Yerrr"said Sasuke, hoping there wasn't another one allready.

"Well.My friends and I have a proposition for you.Now, as you know, all parties have a host.And some parties are especially exclusive because of the host being a member of the R.A.N.P"

"RANP?"

"Raving Awesome Ninja People.Oh come on, you see signs some times, that's what it stand for!!"

"Again...ranp?!"

"Sasuke you numpty! Have you heard of the akatsuki?"

"Yerr-ha"

"Well, they're a secret organization of criminals, correct?"

"Correct"

"And R.A.N.P, is a secret organization of V.I.P party goers."

"ahhhh, I get"

"Finally.Now, This is a once-in-a-lifetime opporunity here, how would you like you and your friends to join RANP?"

"uhhh, ok" Sasuke smiled.Naruto was going to love this.

"HEY! WE don't give places away that easy! You have to come along to the annual recruitment competions! or A.R.C.And..you and your team have to win."

"Done" (in head) ' oh shit.'

...

"Hey, Narufag! Guess what!"

Naruto looked up at Sasuke, who had the biggest smile on his face, so big Naruto knew Sasuke was shitting himself about something.

"What?"

"You wanna join a secret organization?"

"R.A.N.P??HECK YEAH! WHERE'S THE A.R.C TO??"

"hey...How did you know about all this already?"

"DUH! SASGAY! DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING! KIBA IS GOING TO RUN AROUND IN CIRCLES LIKE AKAMARU ABOUT THIS!"

"what's so special?" said Gaara, arriving from the little demon host's room.

"WE HAVE THE CHANCE TO JOIN R.A.N.P!" exclaimed Naruto.

"R.A.NP?!awesome" said Gaara, slightly smiling.

"DID I HEAR...WHAT I THINK I HEARD?!" Said Kiba, running around in circles like Akamaru.

"hey...what's Kiba doing...?!"said Neji...a little weirded out.

"We might join ranp" said Sasuke, calmly

"Cool, let's hope fate's on our side"

...


	14. Chapter 14

HEYYYY YOU GUYS! I DON'T OWN NARUTO! like OMgosh! Can you believe it? I'm pretty sure Naruto can..atleast ;)

...

"So.Welcome to The A.R.C. We have today three teams.Our largest number of people ever.As you all know whichever team loses, NEVER gets a chance to join again.I will give you all three minutes to decide team names." Said MinAri kind of bored.

...

Team one.

'The AWESOMES.

Features 'Rock Lee, TenTen, Sakura, Shikamaru, and Temari.'

...

Team two.

'The amazing ones'

features 'Kankuro, Ino, Chojji, Shino, and Hinata'

...

Team three.

'Pimps.'

features 'Naruto, Sasuke, Gaara, Neji, and Kiba'

...

"Well. Congratlations.You now have the week to complete a series of challenges.The first is popularity.You must find a way of getting people from Konohagakure to vote your team the best.Members from opposing teams are also allowed to vote." Said Airi, happy to annoounce something important.

"The Voting box is infront of the statues of the hokages."

...

"I have had the BEST IDEA.EVER! BELIEVE IT!"exclaimed Naruto, happily.

"Go on then"sighed Neji.somehow doubting Naruto having 'the best idea'

"Well.Sasuke.As you know, Ino and Sakura would JUMP at the chance to kiss you.And I expect other girls will too.Soooo, If we offer a chance to kiss you, in exchange for a vote..." said Naruto, proudly.

...

Later...

"ROLL UP GIRLS! TODAY WE HAVE HERE A CHANCE TO KISS A VERY COOL NINJA!"called Naruto.

"If you like the EMO and Popular guy SASUKE UCHIHA, Then queue up NOW! IN EXCHANGE VOTE FOR TEAM THREE 'PIMPS' "

A huge load of screaming fangirls rushed into a queue.(Including Ino)

...

"Zetzu to R.A.N.P base. Pimps have been cleverly maneuvering a crowd of fangirls.I feel sorry for the poor kid who has to kiss them all."

...

"Right.Team one! We have a mission, now lets DO IT!"Said Tenten happily.

"C'MON GUYS! WHO WANTS TO GIVE SHIKAMARU AND ROCK LEE A MAKEOVER?? C'MON!! YOU KNOW YOU DO!!" Called Sakura loudly.

A group of people came over.(Temari also had a go, even though she was actually a member of that team)

...

"Deiadara to R.A.N.P base, un.

'The Awesomes' have used a form of art (which is a bang) called make-overs to attract crowds, un"

"R.A.N.P base to Deiadara.STOP SAYING UN!"

"Deiadara to R.A.N.P base. UN,UN,UN,UN,UN,UN!!"

"R.A.N.P base to Deiadar-KOKONE GIMME THAT PHONE! hey, Dei-Dei-Kun.It's me, Airi...wanna go out later?"

"Deiadara to R.A.N.P base ERRR, OK, un"

"YAYAYAYAYAY."

...

"Team two, we are behind.We must catch up, any ideas?"

"I have one" said Shino.

"DUNK 'EM! FOR ONE VOTE, YOU GET A SHOT TO DUNK EITHER GAI-SENSAI, OROCHIMARU OR JIRAIYA IN THE DUNK TANK"shouted Chojji, happily.

Kakashi, Tsunade and many others queued up.


	15. Chapter 15

long time, no chap , eh? I was contemplating whether i wanted Airi's date with Dei-Dei kun or the next challengee......naturally i chosen option 1#.And i suppose i have to say it don't I. I really don't own Naruto.... :C

....................................................................................................................................

Kokone looked at her friend in shame. 'How the hell can Airi LIKE that...GIRL?'

Airi turned to her friend and said 'You were thiking out loud again.'

Satomi arrived at Airi's room, to see Kokone searching for the key to Airi's dairy (MEANIE), and Airi smirking because she was wearing the key as a necklace. "Hey, goonfaces, the votes are counted now, and bloody hell did it take ages!".

"Satomi-san, WHAT DO I WEAR?!"

Satomi blinked, confused she turned to her friend, who was still searching

"Ohhh, she bagged herself a date via the R.A.N.P intercom"

Satomi INTERCOM?!WTH?!???

"What? It was as good a time as any!" said Airi, then a knock came at the door, in entered Minari, sighing.

" a nice time with Dei-Dei tonight Airi-chan!"

"Why thankyou, atleast someone is being nice to me!"declared the kunoichi, applying glitter eyeliner.

"Hey, Mina....Found out anything yet?"

"No, it seems his idiot brother has no idea where he is either!All that WASTED , that blonde kid....is he...y'know...a host?!"

The other three nodded.

"Hallelujah!So,,,, weasel's gonna have to go after him at some point, right?"

"even better, i heard from Tobi that Naruto is exactly the host that was allocated to Itachi and Kisame!"said Satomi, smiling

"Ok, they gotta win then.I'm getting fed up with waiting for my boyfriend to 'just turn up'" said Minari happily.

The door bell rang.

"OMG! HE'S HERE!!!!!!!!"

"Airi, calm down, don't make a big deal when you discover that it's a girl!"said Kokone, smirking.

Airi was already out the building.

...............................................................................................................................................

"Deidara.....Can I try on your hat please?"asked Airi, admiring the circular..thing.

"Sure, it's what us akatsuki call 'the pimp hat'" said the blonde MALE, handing over the hat.

"Airi-chan..Why did you want to see me? un"

blushing, Airi looked at him (with the hat on now) and replied "Well, i've known you for..well forever practically, and I guess i just always thought you were exceptionally hot!"

Deidara blinked, then coughed.

"are you serious?! Me?! You didn't think Itachi was? un"

"EWWWWW! NOOOOOOO!Weasel...Hot??Well...I thought he was sweet, when I met him, but i had been hit on the head that day..."

"SCORE!OMG!TAKE THAT ITACHI!YOU NOOB!BOOYAHH!I WIN! I WIN! I WIN!ART IS A BANG, UN!"

Airi laughed nervously.

Calming down, Deidara looked at her and said "I'm really glad you said that, because..it turns out...I...uhh, that is.. I mean...I kinda like you..aswell....un"

"really? wow!"

"Why didn't you ever tell me? un"

"well, i guess i was, you know worried, that..maybe ...you liked Satomi..."

"What?Nooooo!I like YOU!I always have wow...so uhh, do we like hold hands or something ? un"

"I'd like that "


	16. Chapter 16

I don't own Naruto. ANYWAY…..I am happily proud to announce awesomeness in this long awaited chapter ^^ so also, AIRI, KOKONE, AND SATOMI/SATORI are O.C's XD sorry for the confusion ^^

…………………………………………………………………………………………

Airi stepped up on stage, eager eyes awaiting her announcement." Umm, HEY PEOPLE! Anyway…yeah.*clears throat*I am proud to say the votes have been counted and the winners are concluded. Those in third and second place, although you had VERY high scores, which were deadly close…. You must understand that you are never to participate in these events again. The winners, with a clear outstanding gap of over 4 million votes (due to some mishap in letting extremely dangerous…*shivers* _fan girls_ into the premises) Uchiha Sasuke's team, you win! Please will all runners up evacuate the area, as for the 'pimp' team to receive their full membership"

Deidara greeted Airi who was shaking in stage fright.

"You did good, lots of long words, un" Airi laughed, then turned her attention to the new winners.

"WAYYYY!" yelled Naruto, high fiving Kiba, Sasuke was smirking proudly, Neji was just like 'omg!yesh!'

"Ok, idiots. I suppose you would like to meet the rest of the group? Well, tough shit. I have to tell you rules and regulations, and all that crap" said Kokone, startling Sasuke and making jump in fright.

Airi and Deidara then walked up to them, and Airi said " She's going to give you one hell of a lecture!"

"Bloody boring! Un"

Rolling her eyes, Kokone began

"Anyway, R.A.N.P cares a lot about reputation, as the members are invited to EVERY exclusive party going. And we don't intend to miss one party, even if some members can't go. So, you act as idiots, and you're dead meat. Also, R.A.N.P is very proud to have individual 'looks' on each person. In other words, if you don't look your best at any ONE party, you're showing us all up. Oh, get used to people creeping round you, throwing themselves at you, and screaming saying 'ohmygodddd!' Also, V.I.P.R rooms are ONLY available for R.A.N.P members, so if you spot someone you don't recognize, set Tobi on them. Oh and next you'll be meted by Satori to meet and converse with all members. Have fun."

"Naruto, wake up!" hissed Gaara, blinded with embarrassment because Naruto's head was leaning on his shoulder, dribbling and snoring.

"Hey guys, umm I'm Satori, and I don't actually know your names….."

"Sasuke, of the Uchiha clan, and this is Uzumaki Naruto, Hyuuga Neji, Gaara of the sand and Inuzuka Kiba." said Sasuke, proudly introducing himself first.

PUNCH!

Naruto punched Sasuke, then said "Studmuffin, Hot emo guy, Hottie, Dog boy, and Daddy Neji" Corrected Naruto, getting evils from Kiba and Neji for the LAME-O nicknames.

"Nice. So anyway *thinks in head 'weirdo's'* As you know, I'm Satori, and you've met Kokone, by the way, she's not always moody, she just hates Sasuke. NO questions why, she just does. Airi, the one who announced you as a winner, and she is currently dating Deidara, the blonde one who looks familiar to a girl, and says UN! all the time. Oh a word of warning, if he starts messing about with clay, or saying he feels like some art, move VERY far away. Yep. Tobi is the one in the orange mask, always says he's a good boy, Zetzu…..would eat you if he had the chance, Sasori, awesome red hair, looks similar to Gaara…although…He's a puppet. Minari…. She's pretty hung up about her crush leaving Konoha. That's most of us at R.A.N.P, also there's Hidan, Konan, and ….that other guy, I forget his name, but they don't show up much, much too busy…oh yeah! Pein! That's his name! yeah, you get the drift! Oh yeah, by the way, next party is in 11 hours"


End file.
